After last night, I could never be a politician.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize