somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
