...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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