god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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