I didn't shave. On purpose
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
