if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you had me at cake vodka
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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