we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
