hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
