I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
