i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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