There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
