i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
