I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
