I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
