Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
