I am in a vortex of obligation.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
