make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
