May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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