Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
