I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I AM VODKA MAN
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
