i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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