you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
