It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
