So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
