id be glad to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Acid is not a monday night drug
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am naked and annoyed.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
