she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
