After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
