This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
