Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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