Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
