where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I die, sorry about rent.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
