went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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