please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
