Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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