I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
