Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
then he tried to convert me to islam
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
