So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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