A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
