I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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