Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize