Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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