I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
