Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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