i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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