Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
