I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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