I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize