I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
