Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
