how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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