just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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