So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
