So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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