Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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