More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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