Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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