seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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