I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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