I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
