I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
