Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
