let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
