Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
