I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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